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The Road So Far…


Hello everyone! It has been positively ages since I have posted on this blog! I deeply apologize for leaving you all hanging on the story of Alice Gaile. I truly did have  plan for her, and I will try to finish it eventually, though admittedly I am more busy than I have been in the past. I also apologize for not responding to any of your comments. I feel you should know the reason for this was not out of disinterest for them, but rather because I forgot my password and was locked out for the past 9 months. Never fear however, as I will respond to your comments as soon as I can.

As for how my life has been in the time since I last posted, well, an awful lot has happened. So let’s start at the beginning.

It is July 2017 and I am fresh out of elementary school. I have little time to let that sink in as I am instantly bombarded by theater. I am in a play called Catch Me If You Can, performed by CYMC. It is very busy and if I’m honest, a little overwhelming. One of the greatest experiences of my life, and I am saddened that I am unable to do it again this year.

It is August 2017 and I am recovering from nonstop everyday acting. I spend some time in a trailer park in Osoyoos with my cousin for her birthday and I nearly die of heat stroke (not really, I was fine, don’t worry) I spend some time on Hardy Island with my Grandfather and brother, which I might make a post about in the future. I auditioned for Anne of Green Gables with my friends and I made an ensemble part.  I am hanging out with my friends as much as possible, and mentally preparing for…

September 2017. I am entering high school as a grade 8, and I’ve changed my name back to my birth name of Jessica. I have never been so terrified of school before now. Albeit, it is made easier by my brother and many friends from acting. It is my goal to be kind and friendly, and try to remain on top of my work. Rehearsals for Anne are starting up and things are looking pretty good. I am connecting with old friends and making new ones. Things are going well, I even went to see my first horror movie with my friends! However, I am starting to dislike how disrespectful my peers are of the teachers.

October 2017. It is the months of all things spooky and scary and all I can think about is grades and friends and toxic relationships and plans for the future and I’m feeling very overwhelmed. It is now that I am making a power point on why my parents should let me home school, even though I would never show them.

November 2017. Remember when I said I was feeling very overwhelmed? Try to imagine what it was like. The most unmotivated and tired and afraid of failure you have ever felt. Now double it. Now imagine that through the eyes of me, a known drama queen and famed over reactor. Now you are starting to get an idea of how I’m feeling right now. The world has never looked so bleak, I am having more consecutive “worst days of my life” than I have ever had, school isn’t fun anymore, education isn’t beautiful. Everything is tiresome. This is midterms. OK, it isn’t actually “midterms”, but I am having a test almost every week, more cramming and studying then ever, more homework, more rehearsals, everything is bigger and scarier and life is just bad. At the very least, I was being recognized for working so hard. I was given a certificate for being in the top ten students for best grades in my grade. So that was nice.

December 2017. I am getting a bit better now that midterms are over. Anne is getting closer and closer and my mind is gearing more towards theater than towards school. Christmas comes and goes, Anne of Green Gables is a success, things are winding down, but I’m getting increasingly more worried about going back to school. It is now that I ask my parents if I can home school. They say we will talk about it in January. I wait.

January 2018. Six day into the year I cut off a little over half of my hair and dye it red, so that’s cool. I have been in school for 70 days now. On my 71st, the first day back after Christmas, I go home early because of intense pain n my torso. You could argue it is from stress, or just a random stitch. This is the day my mother and I discuss homeschooling, and she gives in. The next day I hand in my books and sign up for PIE, or Partners In Education, where I have been learning to this day.

February 2018. I have had numerous freak outs because I feel like I made a mistake in choosing to home school. But eventually, after meeting with my teacher, I get everything sorted out and things have never been better. School is fun again, and education is beautiful.

That brings us to today. It is early evening and the rain is hammering down. I am warm, and happy, and ahead of schedule for schoolwork, and I got my blog back so that’s pretty radical. Life has never been so good. All is well.

If you are younger than me and reading this thinking, “Oh god I am absolutely hooped if this is what high school is like” then relax. Don’t worry. Most of this stress was being put on me by me. I was so scared of not getting good grades that I was slowly killing myself over perfect work. It was so bad that my friends would dread projects and assignments solely because my stress was so intense that it was contagious. It would literally rub off on them. So chillax. Unless you, like me, are a workaholic with an intense fear of failure, then you will be fine. Even if you are a workaholic, you can handle it. I believe in you. There is always hope. Things will be alright.

Thank you so much for reading mi amigos. It has been a crazy time since I last wrote. I am so glad to be back though, and will hopefully be uploading the third part of Alice Gaile and the GMO Gnomes soon. Until next time, so long! Farewell! Auf Wiedersehen! I will see you all in my next post! (Man it has been too long since I have typed that!)


Alice Gaile and the GMO Gnomes Part 2

“This is like something out of an Indie teen movie, only way more surreal, and slightly morbid”

I was at the bus stop waiting for a bus to sweep me away to Marietta, Ohio, when I should’ve been in gym. I was  practically throwing away my education on a hand full of clues that I wasn’t even completely sure about! OK, you don’t need to escalate it that much. You’re missing one day, two tops, and it’s not like you have ever missed a day of school before. You’ll be fine. I had been told that I was good at stress de-escalation, but it was now that I was truly grateful for it. The bus arrived with a screeching halt. I checked my bus schedule to make sure I wasn’t getting on the wrong bus.

“Hey Missy, you coming?” the bus driver gruffly inquired. 

I was the last one of the small crowd waiting at the bus stop to get on the bus, so I quickly pulled out my bus pass and trotted up the steps to scan it. 

“Yeah, I am, sorry” I muttered. 

I slid onto the empty-ish bus and took my place at a window seat near the back. All was peaceful and quiet for about 17 seconds until a deranged, over tired looking elderly lady came on and sat, you guessed it, right beside me. On a mostly empty bus. Why does crazy find me even when I’m not looking for it? I thought to myself. The lady promptly put her bag on the floor, opened it up to pull out a tinfoil hat, plunked it on her head and turned to face me.

“You aren’t one of them, are you?” she asked me suspiciously.

“I.. don’t think so, no” I replied.

“Oh good!” The woman said, breaking into a toothless smile. “I’m Babette, pleased to meet you”

“I’m Alice, good to meet you too” I said, trying to be polite. “Where are you travelling to?” I was trying to make casual, normal conversation, before she pulled me into a deep discussion about whoever “they” were.

“I’m headed to Ohio, on my way to a garden contest. I heard some spooky stuff’s been going on down there and I wanted to see for myself. I’m a bit of a conspiracy theorist, I am” she said with a grin. “Where are you headed?”

“I’m headed to Ohio as well, also for a garden contest” I said, my mind reeling. I had to come up with a way to find out what was going on, or if I should just turn back now. If there was anything I had learned from doing this supernatural thing, it’s that conspiracy theorists are usually right, even if they don’t know they are. “Say, you aren’t heading to Marietta for that garden contest, are you?”

“Why I am indeed! You heard of all the stuff that’s been going on there?”

“I certainly have!” I said, getting a little too excited. “What do you think caused all that produce to just disappear?” I asked, trying to regain a bit of dignity.

“If you ask me, I say it’s all in the seeds” Babette expressed. “If you listen to the news clip again, you’ll hear her mention those seeds she planted. Now, when you are as professional a conspiracy theorist as I, you get access to an awful lot of files. Those seeds she bought? were from none other than Sanmonto, that company that everyone thinks is evil.”

“That makes sense! That must be why they were growing so fast! But it doesn’t explain why they were gone so suddenly.”

“Oh child, it does if you dig deep enough! You see, Back in the sixty’s, when garden gnomes were all the rage, and Sanmonto was just new, all those garden enthusiasts back then were queuing up for miles just to get their hands on those seeds!” She recalled, growing nostalgic. “Anyway, there were a few cases all those years ago of peoples garden gnomes going missing along with their produce. What I think happened is the chemicals activated some of the radioactivity in the plastic used for making those gnomes, and they came to life with a hunger for leafy greens. When Sanmonto heard of this, they changed a few of the chemicals going into those seeds and the gnome and produce vanishing acts stopped. Until now, when I’m assuming some nitwit employee accidentally put seeds from 1960 on the shelf instead of 2017. And that is what I think is going on” Babette finished with yet another smile.

“Well, it isn’t the first time I’ve dealt with dolls, so this should be a breeze” I muttered to myself. What I didn’t know, however, was how I was going to find and stop those gnomes before they ate anymore fruit and veg. “Hey Babette, did anyone ever get around to finding those gnome in the sixty’s, and if so, how did they get them back to normal?”

“Why you bet they did! Some people from my conspiracy theorist group tracked them down by following their tiny little boot prints and when they finally found them, they were in a marsh behind a lawn ornaments factory, and they were all back to normal, just floating there! The gnome hunters guessed that there was something being pumped out of the factory and into the marsh that de-activated the gnomes craving, and they were all returned to their owners.”

“Interesting, quite, and you said it was something in the marsh water that returned them to normal?”

“Oh heavens no! It was a chemical from the factory in front of the marsh, and the people tracking the gnomes narrowed it down to carcinogenic polyvinylpyrrolidone plastic, a common chemical in hairspray.”

“Oh thank god! Thank you so much Babette, for sharing your wisdom with me” I said completely full of gratitude. She had basically solved my case for me! Now all I had to do was find the gnomes, and a butt ton of hairspray…

OK… I have some explaining to do. I’M SORRY OK?! I didn’t mean to leave you hanging for a month, but here’s the thing. I had this written within the week I published the first part, but my proof reader (thanks mom) left me hanging for a month. So technically, I’m not the one at fault. So long! Farewell! Auf Weidersehen! I’ll see you all in my next post!


The Alphabet of Me!

There’s a lot to know about me, so I thought I’d break it down into its simplest form. Alphabetically. I have done it almost completely out of order, so you’ll have to guess at whether or not I have all the letters. You won’t learn all about me, but here is a snippet.

Stone lettersI have been around for quite some time, almost 13 years, and in that time I have learned everything from my brother’s name, Zach, to my Grandma’s favorite colour, yellow, and all the other quirks in between. So, fun fact about me: Lyric isn’t my real name. OK, it’s kind of my real name, but also kind of not. It’s my middle name. My first name, you may wonder, is Jessica. Whoa, I know! What a shock!  Congratulations, you have now entered The Name Game.  Some cool things about me are that I love dogs, painting, umbrellas (I just think they’re interesting) and theatre. My favourite type of music is Broadway music. I really dislike gym, ice hockey, cleaning, x-treme sports, and I’m really bad at knitting.  I don’t have any allergies, which is good because I can bake whatever I want. I plan to someday go to Europe to see some sights, landmarks, and the like. while I’m there, I really want to go see Hogwarts, or t least the place they used to film Harry Potter. Some cool Harry Potter facts about me are that my favourite character is Luna Lovegood because she is a Ravenclaw like me! The main goal of a Ravenclaw is to be clever, witty and wise.  My favourite spells are Accio, Lumos, and Expecto Patronum, and my favourite potions are Felix Felicis, Amortentia, and Veratiserum. My favourite T.V. shows are Supetrnatural, Once Upon A Time, Gilmore Girls and Riverdale. Oh, what do you know, we’ve finished the alphabet!


So long! Farewell! Auf Wiedersehen! I’ll see you all in my next post!


Image: Tom Magliery via Compfight